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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894736">in holy matrimony</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticKaos/pseuds/PoeticKaos'>PoeticKaos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Clexa Endgame, Clexaweek21, F/F, Tags Subject to Change, Very fluffy, and summary updates, wedding au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:49:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894736</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticKaos/pseuds/PoeticKaos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunkissed blue eyes are like a beacon calling Lexa forth, growing more vivid and captivating as Lexa moves closer. They always immediately gravitate around each other, like magnets that can’t be kept apart. It feels like the only justifiable thing in the world, the only thing that makes any sense, to be in each other’s arms. Any less is a crime. </p><p>“Well?” Clarke’s glowing in her white wedding gown, shyly showing off her bridal look as if she hadn’t just seen Lexa’s eyes grovel with gratitude.</p><p>OR</p><p>A modern clexa wedding AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clarke Griffin &amp; Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Clexaweek2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You’re my one, my only, my everything.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's the <a href="https://awquafina.tumblr.com/post/644979024967434240/a-modern-clexa-wedding">Moodboard</a> for the first chapter of this wedding fic. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Highly recommend this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANtKOP_sa7M&amp;ab_channel=lustry"> song </a> that inspired this.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”  </em>
</p><p>― Dr. Seuss</p><hr/><p> </p><p>-the first look-</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t look unless I say so.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t turn until I tell you to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t look down. Are you looking down? Can you see this?” A gentle breeze brushes over her face, feeling as though the source comes from a hand waving directly in front of it. With a slight frown, she instinctively pulls her head back, tries to swat the ghost of her sister’s hand away. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> No </em>. I have my eyes closed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.”</p><p> </p><p>They only manage to get a few more steps in before Anya opens up her mouth again:</p><p> </p><p>“Watch your step here. No peeking.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Anya. </em> ” Lexa heaves a sigh, impatient and slowly getting annoyed. “They’re <em> closed. </em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Listen. I only get to do this once, and I’m gonna do it right.” </p><p> </p><p>Her brows twitch. “You mean <em> we </em> only get to do this once.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? We?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me and Clarke.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Oh right. Of course, that’s what I meant.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not in my best interest to ruin the moment. Today of all days.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you’re not exactly predictable when it comes to Clarke. You’re a blubbering buffoon when it comes to her. You can fool your face but you can’t fool your body.”</p><p> </p><p>Lexa’s only half-heartedly listening. She’s wondering what Clarke’s doing as of right now.  </p><p> </p><p>“In all my years that I’ve known you, I’ve never seen anything like this. You got it bad, baby girl. I knew it was bad. I just didn’t know the extent of it. Like it’s <em> bad </em>, bad. You are real clumsy. Clum-sy. You may be a bad bitch in court but you’re a flying monkey around her.” </p><p> </p><p>She’s more focused on mapping out her feet and figuring out how far they’ve come and how far they have left. And to have Anya be the one guiding her there easily puts her on edge. They’re not kids anymore but she wouldn’t put it past her sister to have her walking gobsmack into a trash can just for old time’s sake. So she’s a little on guard, especially with Anya escorting her haphazardly down the crunching gravel. </p><p> </p><p>“As a fellow lawyer, frankly, it’s embarrassing. But at least your co-workers love this side of you.” Anya chuckles softly, now looping an arm around Lexa’s. </p><p> </p><p>“Anya.”</p><p> </p><p>“As my sister, it’s adorable to watch. And I’m incredibly happy for you. You finally found someone that can actually put up with your ass.”</p><p> </p><p>“Anya...”</p><p> </p><p>“As a bride though? You’re a wedding planner’s worst nightmare. Harper will never admit it so don’t even think about it. Who knows what’s gonna happen next--she thinks you might trip and fall and accidently take the first look before we even get one good shot.” </p><p> </p><p>Lexa gapes, mildly offended. Blindly, she turns her head sideways and blurts, “Who? Harper?” Sure, there’d been a couple of mishaps here and there.. But not <em> every </em> incident that had gone wrong was because of her. <em> Worst nightmare </em> is a bit much.. A bit of an over exaggeration, if she does say so herself. “Did Harper actually say that or is that just you paraphrasing her?”</p><p> </p><p>Instead of replying, Anya ignores her.</p><p> </p><p>“I assure you, baby sis, the precaution is more than necessary.” A note of finality.</p><p> </p><p>This comes in a tone that has Lexa questioning just how many times her sister’s been replaying that disaster of a scenario out in her head. Probably far too many times to keep count, since her sister’s need to reiterate this reminder comes about in every couple of steps. “You’ve already ripped a table sheet and tripped over three wires and went out of order in the sequence and accidentally knocked out Lincoln at rehearsal. Not to mention toppling over the cake tier stand. Which was empty but still.”</p><p> </p><p>Lexa lets out a disgruntled huff, begrudgingly acknowledging the fact. She can’t argue with that. But she also refuses to give her the satisfaction by agreeing with her. So she remains silent. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, so keep your eyes shut.” says Anya, adding a playful nudge, “Even if you fall and get a concussion, baby-sis.” </p><p> </p><p>“Anya.”, she sighs exasperatedly in response. The ground transitions into something sturdier beneath her feet, from rough asphalt to pavement on a sidewalk. “You promised.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! My bad, baby gir-er,uh-I mean.” Anya quickly corrects. “Soon-to-be Mrs. Griffin.”</p><p> </p><p>Just the mention of her future surname brings forth a dazed looking smile, unbidden. </p><p> </p><p>“Look at you.” Although Anya mutters and scoffs under her breath, Lexa can hear the tease in her voice. And if she’s not mistaken, she can pick up a subtle hint of sibling pride in it. She half expects a joke to come following along. Somewhere along the lines of Anya feigning a gag reflex or some backhanded comment about their nauseating love or how cupid must’ve specifically targeted them. But after a few seconds, she’s thoroughly pleased to learn that it won’t come, this time. </p><p> </p><p>Anya stands by her words. Because that’s right. It’s her wedding day. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (And she’d rather be buried 6 feet underground by her own shovel than have her co-workers ever witness such an extraordinary event of being called by such an embarrassing and endearing term. But that’s besides the point).  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s her day and not Anya’s. And because she’s getting married to the literal girl of her dreams.</p><p> </p><p>...To the <em> woman </em> of her dreams.</p><p> </p><p>To the woman <em> in </em> her dreams.</p><p> </p><p>How’d she wind up so lucky?</p><p> </p><p>“Oh christ, Lexa. You’ve got such a dopey looking smile going on. Do I even want to know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.” Lexa tries to adjust her face, but the image of Clarke in a wedding dress keeps the love-smitten features right in place. Lexa can’t see anything underneath this blindfold, but she rolls her eyes anyways. Anya can poke fun all she wants. There’s nothing she can say that can put a damper on her mood—the overjoy is virtually ready to burst at the seams at any given moment. </p><p> </p><p>When the smell of fresh cut grass, a hint of daisies and dandelions, comes wafting under her nose, she knows that they’ve made it to their destination. </p><p> </p><p>Anya stops abruptly and grabs her by the shoulders to pivot her in the right direction before untying the knot at the back of her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, stand here.” Anya hesitantly takes off her blindfolds, already starting to repeat the words that are sure to ignite the fire in her belly once it’s heard in its full form. “Don’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“-I’m not looking!” Lexa hisses to the side, hoping it lands in her sister's direction. At this point it'll be the last damn thing she’ll do. And her impending scatterbrain better be on the same page when the time comes. </p><p> </p><p>The warm hand abandons her arm, taking along the blindfold and the security it once gave. Without it, her hands fidget and her heart picks up speed. Left untethered to her unknown environment, an isolating weight begins to gather unpleasantly at her feet. </p><p> </p><p>The anticipation is palpable. </p><p> </p><p>“Clar-! Come here.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s indistinct murmuring in the foreground that fades away. After some hurried scuffling here and there, some more hushed voices, she hears the surrounding nature grow louder—leaves rustling nearby, birds chirping together in harmony, the rise of the sun warming up her face. </p><p> </p><p>It gets quiet. </p><p> </p><p>Too quiet. </p><p> </p><p>So quiet she can hear her own thoughts racing through her mind. Which isn’t ideal, lest she wants to unravel like a loose spool. So Lexa tries to quiet her mind instead, tuning it out. Clearing it and immersing herself in her surroundings while her hands are dutifully held in front. </p><p> </p><p>It’s all going to be captured on film, of course. But Lexa finds herself wondering what would Clarke’s reaction be when she sees Lexa off in the distance? Would her eyes lighten up the same way Lexa’s will? Would she be as excited?</p><p> </p><p>Of course she would. But still. </p><p> </p><p>Photography can never quite capture the authenticity of the memory, the part where everything comes to a standstill, the part where the sky meets the earth on the horizon. The part where she can feel her chest blooming, the part where her wild heart jumps at the sight of Clarke’s smile, the part where it flutters when it realizes she’s the <em> reason </em> behind that smile. That <em> feeling </em>… </p><p> </p><p>And that smile. </p><p> </p><p>G<em> od </em>, her smile is to die for. </p><p> </p><p>Subconsciously, she touches her cheeks, trying to reign the stupid and stubborn smile back in before Anya goes pointing it out again, this time in front of people and for all to hear. Lexa forces another deep inhale and rolls back her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a long stretching moment before she feels a light touch on her right shoulder, granting the permission to turn around. Lexa takes a steeling breath beforehand, only to have it all knocked out of her when she finally turns and opens her eyes; setting them on the most beautiful being that’s endowed with God's personal touch.</p><p> </p><p>Clarke looks absolutely <em> breathtaking </em>.  </p><p> </p><p>Lexa’s heart skips a beat at the sight of her woman who is now her bride. Time floats in slow motion, a translucent filter refracted from the sun sets a haze over her vision. Halfway across the garden bridge, the beautiful bride is stunningly picturesque. She can only manage to stare at her, like heaven’s gate has granted access to its sacred chambers and has blessed them with one of its angels to come to their aide.</p><p> </p><p>Her bridal updo is pinned up gorgeously.  Blonde curls frame her face and sway with the breeze, radiant gold under the rays of sunlight. With a soft gasp, Lexa’s hands comes clasped in prayer over her mouth, eyes immediately sweeping over Clarke: starting lower on the ripples of her dress that billows around her with every movement, rising to her curvaceous hips and waist, over that soft satin skin, her cleavage, the smooth column of her neck, and resting in those mesmerizing blue eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Unable to take her eyes off of her, Lexa’s as awestruck as she is enamored. </p><p> </p><p>Sunkissed blue eyes are like a beacon calling Lexa forth, growing more vivid and captivating as Lexa moves closer. They always immediately gravitate around each other, like magnets that can’t be kept apart. It feels like the only justifiable thing in the world, the only thing that makes any sense, to be in each other’s arms. Any less is a crime. </p><p> </p><p>“Well?” Clarke’s glowing in her white wedding gown, shyly showing off her bridal look as if she hadn’t just seen Lexa’s eyes grovel with gratitude. </p><p> </p><p>It hasn’t occurred to her that she’s beginning to feel lightheaded, a bit unsteady on her feet until Clarke holds her hands and brings balance back in to her world. Grounding her like she always does, and with such ease, every time. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, <em> wow </em> ...” Lexa whispers, biting her quivering lips. She’s at a loss for words. The tears are already brimming, threatening to spill. The vision graced upon her cannot simply be summarized by mere few words. Lexa’s perplexed by her own visceral reaction, not expecting to become so emotional. Over something - <em> someone </em>- so beautiful. Shouldn’t she be happy? Overjoyed?</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare.” Clarke’s voice nearly cracks, her hands hold onto Lexa’s forearms as if to gather strength. The shimmer in her ocean blue eyes, the tremor in her bottom lip, belies the serious tone in her warning. “Do you know how long it took me to get makeup ready?”</p><p> </p><p>“You look-you look amazing.” Lexa can’t help but smile, even though it’s tearful. Sharing the same fond expression, Clarke swipes the corners of Lexa’s eyes with the pads of their thumbs before pulling her in for a kiss. Ever so gentle and lasting. And when her lips part ways against hers, changing the angle of their kiss, she reciprocates without a second thought. There’s a sigh in content intermingling with a happy hum somewhere between the breaths that they share. After they break apart, Lexa leaves her eyes closed and pulls her lips between her teeth, as if savouring momentarily, before drifting her forest green eyes back open.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so beautiful, Clarke.”, she breathes out. Blinking away her tears, she wraps her arms around her fiancé’s waist snugly, pressing closer by any means possible, as though it’s second nature for her hands to reach out for its counterpart. Carrying out its duties in holding onto Clarke for stability, latching Lexa onto her homebase. </p><p> </p><p>Blushing in a nice rosy color, Clarke tucks a curl behind her ear and looks up through her thick eyelashes. Clarke. Being shy? <em> Clarke? </em>She snatches and commits this newfound sight to memory, clutching it close to her chest, allowing this endearing image to spread in her heart and warm her veins. </p><p> </p><p>The butterflies in her stomach start fluttering its wings, calling for attention.  </p><p> </p><p>“You look really good.” Clarke scans her up and down while running fingers through the lapels of her dark green blazer, exploring palms covering the fabric of her elegant custom designed three-piece suit. “Really good.” more whispering to herself than talking to Lexa, feeling the velvety texture and adjusting her bow tie needlessly. </p><p> </p><p>And now the damn butterflies want to establish a riot, thrashing in its cage, demanding attention this instant. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” Clarke says softly. </p><p> </p><p>This isn’t the first time she’s said it. It isn’t. Perhaps it’s the special occasion, the fact that they will be tied in holy matrimony by the end of the day, that the declaration reverberates somewhere deeper than the depths of her soul. It permeates beyond any physical means that tie her existence to this realm, it disintegrates the rest of her fortress; in the same breath, it anchors her, tethering her to reality. It reels her astral projected form back into her body with the force of a seismic earthquake. </p><p> </p><p>This isn’t a dream. It’s real. </p><p> </p><p>It’s real, it’s real, <em> it’s real </em>. And she’s ready to spend the rest of her life with Clarke. As Clarke is, with her. </p><p> </p><p>And at that thought, a lump lodges itself in her throat. </p><p> </p><p>An exceptionally weak hand reaches out to untuck a blonde curl that falls forward, lightly brushing her cheek. Lexa hates being emotional, even in her lonesome company. So to fall prey to such a state in front of a few people for some pictures, feels incredibly sacreligious. Wrong. Even more frighteningly so when she’s going to be up at the altar, where there’s going to be various family and friends and even more people that will gain privy to a form of intimacy she’d dedicated her whole life to suppressing. </p><p> </p><p>She’s not sure what to make of this mysterious feeling. A mixture of sadness and something else, something blue. But as long as Clarke remains by her side, nothing else matters. As long as Clarke stays by her side, she could take on the rest of the world for all she cared. </p><p> </p><p>As long as Clarke’s at her side, her life has meaning.</p><p> </p><p>Biting back those damning tears, she skates her hands up and down Clarke’s arms in a soothing rhythm, as if she’s trying to comfort both of them. It feels as though her heart is <em> uplifting, </em> taking flight and <em> soaring </em> through the clear open skies, free of any lingering doubts. </p><p> </p><p>However, all it takes is one glance down to have her stomach twisted and whistling at the astronomical distance in height far above ground, unable to ignore the fact that this kind of fall could end her. Could shatter her to beyond recovery. </p><p> </p><p>She has so much to gain; so much to lose. </p><p> </p><p>She can’t seem to get the words out, to reciprocate anything. Her throat tightened and her mouth clamped shut.</p><p> </p><p>But she loves her. </p><p> </p><p><em> God </em>, she loves her. </p><p> </p><p>Her face must indicate this, because Clarke gazes at her with so much love and affection that the internal battlefield playing out in her troublesome mind surrenders. The white flag is waved and the swarming army of insecurities retreat. </p><p> </p><p>Clarke’s eyes are glassy and rays of sunshine add different dimensions of light to them--the blue and yellow and gray of the sunny clouds and the clear sky reflected in them. Clarke brings her back from cloud nine, nuzzles the tips of their noses together, thumbs caressing her cheeks, fingers trail her jawline; pressing a kiss to her nose, and then whispering words of affirmation and a series of reminders next to her ear as they hold each other. </p><p> </p><p>Reminding her that,</p><p> </p><p><em> Love isn’t weakness. </em> </p><p> </p><p>A light peeks out from behind the curtains of pitch darkness.</p><p> </p><p>Another crack splits it further down, and a beaming sword slashes it’s way through the forcefield to allow bright rays come flooding in. The gash tears a gaping hole when all the lights come surging in exponential measures, overpowering the harrowing nightfall she was raised under. </p><p> </p><p>And suddenly. </p><p> </p><p>One touch from Clarke and the act of falling didn’t seem so terrifying. One look and she’s sinking into her eyes, into the deep blue sea of tranquility and plunging into the unknown. One kiss and the task of leaving herself bare and open didn’t seem at all self destructive, now she’s fearless in walking down that path, knowing she has a supportive hand to keep her afloat. One voice is all it takes to have oxygen returning to her lungs in a steady flow, making it a whole lot easier to breathe. One whiff of her sensual perfume and the soundless beat of her heart returns. </p><p> </p><p>Clarke is both the quiet and the confusion of her heart. </p><p> </p><p>In their quietude, Lexa smiles softly and gives into Clarke’s nudge for another gentle kiss. Blissfully lost in the feel of having her lips being enveloped by warm ones, the rest of the world seems to evaporate, leaving them to an island of their own precious paradise. </p><p> </p><p>Then they startle, pulling apart when the scene around them enlivens and bursts their intimate bubble. </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the ensemble have arrived.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Listen up, lovebirds. Can the both of you even hear us?” Anya calls out for their attention with the snap of her fingers, while pointedly avoiding eye contact with Raven at all cost as the girl arrives at the scene. </p><p> </p><p>“Get it!” Jasper calls through his makeshift megaphone formed by his hands while Monty adjusts his silver pocket square. Looking at Jasper like he’d gone crazy, taken aback by his best friend’s sudden outburst during their conversation. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe this is happening.” Raven’s holding onto Maya’s shoulder as Bellamy offers his support on the opposite side. “My baby’s all grown up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oooh Clarke!” Fox squeals and claps before handing a tissue out for Raven—who accepts gratuitously before trotting over to greet and hug Lexa. “Yay! <em> Love </em> the green suit, Lexa. Wow! Really makes your eyes <em> pop </em> !” She gestures her hands animatedly, “Just like <em> whoa, </em> the <em> green </em> is so handsomely.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know right? It was my idea, it brings out her eyes.” </p><p> </p><p>“Stop it. Y’all are too cute.” Octavia takes a break from snapping away with her camera, shuffling through the photos she’s taken so far and then bursting out laughing at the one where Lexa makes a face as Raven proceeds to squeeze the life out of her. </p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, Lincoln’s laser focused on recording everything. “Nice. Nice-nice-nice. The natural lighting is <em> perfect </em>. Just perfect. This is a great spot.” A few shutters fire in rapid succession from a few metres away. </p><p> </p><p>“Clarke, look off into the distance. Let’s get more candid shots.” Octavia instructs with an off handed wave. Lincoln veers the huge studio camera to another angle. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t forget portrait shots too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Can we get some pictures where y’all are <em> not </em>looking into each other’s eyes?” The hired intern says with a teasing lilt in her voice. </p><p> </p><p>“After this--We’ll start with the bridesmaids group and then we’ll gather groomsmen's next. So stay ready so we can get this ship sailing fast.”</p><p> </p><p>Lexa deadpans over to Clarke, lifting a brow and looking exasperated. A giggle bubbles up from Clarke’s throat, both husky and delighted. A swish of her dress and a charming look from Clarke casts an enchantment over Lexa--magically softening her and making Lexa even easier to work with. </p><p> </p><p>Bringing about a small curl of her own at the corners of her lips. </p><p> </p><p>She sneaks in another kiss, showers her with more compliments in the short time frame that they have left—until Clarke has to beg her to stop so that they can properly take pictures of a bride that's not flustered and furiously blushing — before they get started. </p><p> </p><p>///</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The people move around her like clockwork: Her mother spreads out the train of her gown, Octavia smoothes out her veil, Ginny adds in a few finishing touches, Harper glances at her wristwatch as she yammers away to her earpiece. The boys adjust their ties at the last minute. The bridesmaids get into their practiced positions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks over her shoulder towards Raven, who takes notice immediately and sends a quick wink, before returning to her lively conversation with Octavia. At Harper’s beckoning wave, Raven leaves Octavia and disappears with the wedding planner. A few minutes later, everyone starts collecting themselves at Harper’s command upon her return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Madi looked a bit nervous with her flower basket in hand. But after Octavia whispers something in her ear, she’s sent skipping through the white drapes in giddy fashion. After a minute, the bridesmaids excitedly depart one by one, arm in arm with their paired groomsmen. Even Harper looks rather pleased, Clarke was beginning to worry that she’d form a permanent crease in her forehead from worrying all day. Everything seems well. Everyone looks well. Which is more than she can say for herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the other hand, her heart’s thudding so hard it feels like it’s pounding the air straight out of her lungs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke rolls her shoulders back, tries to shake the nerves out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What’s the worst that could happen?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She trips... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and falls? It’d be a laughable ordeal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stutters? Nothing unexpected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stumbles while saying her vows? She’ll bounce back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mind decides to take a sharp detour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Burst out into tears and start sobbing uncontrollably? Become so consumed with emotions that she can no longer speak? Proceed to humiliate herself in front of everyone she knows and loves and gush on and on about how much she loves L-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh no. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Breathing in through her nose; breathing out through her mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They’re in San Francisco, leaning on the railings of the Golden Gate bridge. Lexa’s brown hair flows with the wind, her brilliant green eyes tinted with the amber glow from the sunset. And it’s an image Clarke wants to sear into the back of her mind forever. For Lexa had a twinkle in her eye that she’d never seen before. She looked… to simply put it, happy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only when she feels her circadian rhythm reach equilibrium does she allow her eyes to blink back open. It’s not cold feet, no. It’s more from the fact that she’s about to walk down the aisle and marry the love of her life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The love of her life.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The phrase still floats around in the machinations of her mind, unsure of where it belongs; for the vast majority of her life had been spent independently and solely on driving her career forward. But by the end of today, she’s going to walk out as a </span>
  <em>
    <span>married </span>
  </em>
  <span>woman. She’s going to walk out of here married to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lexa. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A random kiss to her temple rouses Clarke from her internal musings. “Ready honey?” Abby takes her hand, preparing to let her only child go into the next phase of her journey. Her daughter blinks, but doesn’t respond right away. Instead, she sighs longingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mother picks up on the hesitation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marcus looks over expectantly when he hears his wife breaking the long silence, then smiles for show when he gets caught glancing. Though he must feel something shift between them, because he turns his back as if to give them a moment of privacy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke chews on her words, considers the bittersweet taste on her tongue. At first, her instinct is to keep it to herself, to keep the past in the past, telling herself that it wouldn’t do anyone any good to dwell on it. But of all people her mother would understand, </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand. Plus she’s the only person that can shoulder the burden Clarke has buried deep down. Perhaps...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish dad-” The words cut off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Abby now registers the trepidation, feeling for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After clearing her throat out, she tries again: </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tha.. That dad could see this. That he was here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke turns to her mother for guidance, filled with sorrow. Will it ever get better? That gap where a piece went missing all those years ago, the wound that reopens itself every so often. And will she ever be able to forgive the relentless world that continues on without it, for dragging her feet before she was even ready to let go? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For what must be the upteenth time, her mother eyes well up, wearing a heartbreaking expression that must be reflective of hers. Abby doesn’t hesitate. She takes her hands in hers, making sure their eyes lock as she says emphatically, “He is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her father wipes away the tears streaming down her face, questioning why she rode her tricycle so fast. I-I thought I lost y-you, she replies between her hiccups, pawing at her eyes. Oh you could never. He lifts up her by the armpits and attacks her with kisses. Jake has her, in no time, in a giggling fit again when he puts her back down. You could never, he repeats emphatically. I’m right here. I’ll always be with you, okay?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay. She returns the same toothy grin. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He gently guides her hand, like a gorilla teaching a lioness cub, over to the place of her own heart, pressing lightly in the spot over her heart. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You could never. I’ll always be right here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke glances down to the spot on her chest where her mother’s hand already is. A lesson that’s followed her ever since she was little. Enveloped by tenderness, comforted by motherly love, Clarke's shoulders drop with ease.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s with us and he’s watching. And he’s proud—</span>
  <em>
    <span>We </span>
  </em>
  <span>are so proud of you.” Abby makes sure her daughter is looking at her as she says this. “And he would’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> Lexa.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke nods fervently, blinking away her tears, clutching onto her mother’s comfort for just a while longer before she has to let go entirely. This time she takes comfort in being given the choice of when to let go. This time, she’s ready. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The song playing ahead reaches a certain crescendo, alerting both women. Abby takes a glimpse at the overhead before turning to face her again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You caught a good one.” Abby says with a proud smile, an idle hand fixing her hair. She pulls her in for a long embrace. Tinged with a bit of sadness, Clarke musters a smile in response, and nods with concurrence. “I did, didn’t I?” They share a good natured laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jake would’ve loved Lexa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From time to time her mind entertains the possibilities. The broad spectrum of could’ves and would’ves and should’ves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(He should’ve met her. He would’ve loved her. He could’ve kept up with her dry sense of humor. He’d make Lexa play at his favorite golf course, pry her open (like father like daughter) with small talk about politics and stock exchange and sports in season. Teasing about how Lexa </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>get back home to her wif—)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke sharply brakes on that train of thought, with a hard pull of a lever. She needs to grab a hold of herself, lest she wants to turn into a puddling mess before she even makes it to the altar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The altar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The altar where Lexa is. Waiting for her, looking like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>ready and willing to make the biggest commitment of her life, with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lexa’s maddeningly beautiful. Like an ethereal goddess of her own deity. And it dawns on her, for the millionth time, that she’s chosen to spend the rest of her life with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s surreal, the reality of it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love her, Mom.”, her voice breaks with the sudden admission. Both Abby and Marcus lean in to leave a peck on each side of Clarke’s temples at the same time. Appearing at her side, her step father holds his arm out for hers to take, securing her hand there and patting it in fatherly comfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Abby smiles, dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief before she moves to stand off to the side. The usher gestures for her mother to return to the front row inside the venue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The melody picks up on the other side, the cue awakens her heart of gold to illuminate. She can’t help the love that radiates from within. It’s the kind of love that only seems to reveal itself at the thought of seeing Lexa. She’s finally arrived at the top of her roller coaster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s ready.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>///</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh how I love, love. This is a joy to write c:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The wedding nuptials</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OOOH IT'S SO SWEET even I'm getting cavities lol. But with all that's going on in the world I thought we could use a fluffy and happy story, right? I hope this cheers up some people. Stay safe, take care of ya-selves. </p><p>--much love from my lil gaysian heart. </p><p>AND HAPPY CLEXA WEEK y'all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>All eyes set on her, and her alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke’s given speeches before an auditorium full of thousands of her peers and mentors alike. She’d been praised by prominent figures in modern medicine. She’d even moved across state lines in pursuit of her dreams. But this, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, is a whole different arena for her. There are no scientific articles nor research on how to manage such symptoms as these. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s nervous. The buzzing in her veins never ceases.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke wiggles her fingers at some of the little ones bouncing up and down in their seats, craning their necks and looking relieved at not having to sit in their boredom anymore. She never thought she’d be the type to settle down, to entertain the idea of starting a family with someone. Much less, get married. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet every time she spots those little puppers she’s wondering what it’d be like to raise ‘little ones’ of their own. Life just feels so </span>
  <em>
    <span>full</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Lexa in it. And she wants to experience every stepping stone that life has to offer, with Lexa. Only with Lexa. Raising a corgi with her doesn’t sound so bad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Being walked down the aisle, watching everyone celebrate their love, standing up upon her arrival. It feels like she’s right where she’s supposed to be. There's no other place she’d rather be at, no other person she’d rather </span>
  <em>
    <span>be </span>
  </em>
  <span>with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her fiancé looks about on the verge of crumbling, struggling to maintain her composure. She brims with pride and joy, standing beautifully under the starry low light setting accentuated with themes of ivory and green. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lexa faithfully follows every step she takes, her watchful eyes never unwavering. The way they follow her as though she’s a divine being walking down the aisle—simply makes Clarke’s heart just want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>melt. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a momentous shift in the atmosphere when Marcus hands her off to Lexa, who accepts her with an adorable smile. After Marcus gives her a quick hug, she fully takes Clarke's hands in hers. Lexa stares deeply into her eyes. There’s nothing left to be said. Alluring green eyes flutter downcast and picks up when Clarke squeezes her hands twice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then the officiant opens her book, and the magic snaps in the air:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whaddup my bitches, let’s get started, shall we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>///</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wedding ceremony will be facilitated by a newly ordained officiant, one of Clarke’s best friends, Raven. After she adjusts the cuffs of her black clergy fit, Raven ties her ponytail up with a suave that would make any teenage girl swoon. Once the music fades to a softer tempo, she dives straight into her riveting performance of a lifetime. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Lexa didn’t know what else she expected. For the life of her she can’t predict how this is going to go, how the ordeal would play out. As long as they’re in Raven Reyes’ hands, this could go in any and every direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lexa never thought it possible to fit so many swear words in one standing. Raven might be making record history in being the most filthy mouthed minister in all of god’s land. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nevertheless, they made the right choice in choosing her. Raven’s one of the few that knows of their history. And how she effortlessly pulls at heartstrings and gathers abundance in laughter from everyone in the audience only serves to resolidify their choice. Raven had always been a force to be reckoned with, and this is no different—despite the obscenities and embarrassing references (mainly at Clarke’s expense, thankfully), she handles it with a finesse only a Reyes can deliver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lexa wouldn’t expect any less from the Latina that is as innocent as the amount of white strip peeking out from her pristine collar. On any other day she’d be rolling her eyes, but today Lexa’s abnormally unbothered by it. So long as she gets to stare at that vibrant smile on her bride’s beautiful face during Raven’s wild orchestral conductor possessed hands--she couldn’t care less. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>///</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After listening to Lexa’s written vows, they’re an emotional wreckage. Clarke can’t even speak properly, let alone go through with hers. The mini notebook trembles in her hands and her voice can’t seem to find a way around the lump that’s stuck in her throat until Raven hands her some water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She takes a shaky breath before beginning in a hoarse voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lexa.” With a hand to her throat, willing for it to clear, she continues. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” It feels like the last breath has left her lungs and resounded off all four corners. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a place in my heart no one can ever have. From the moment we met I knew there was something different about you. I just knew. That somehow... you were going to matter to me. More than I could’ve ever imagined.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke smiles to herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Albeit, it was a meeting to review her statements in regards to the hospital’s malpractice case.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the best worst thing that’s ever happened to me, Lexa. Because of you, I know what it’s like to be sued by an ambitious lawyer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She bites her cheek to keep from laughing with the ones filtering through her ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But because of you, I also know what love feels like. What started off as rivalries blossomed into a promising friendship. And before I knew it I found myself wanting you in all the ways I imagined impossible. I only ever dreamt of love but I didn’t think I was capable of finding it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And because of you, I couldn’t stop thinking in terms of the infinite possibilities. You see me, in ways that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>seen. You understand me, in ways I feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>understood</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m so grateful to be standing here, given the chance to become one with the person who knows me down to my very core. Beyond grateful to be able to marry the love of my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She takes a deep breath, exhales shakily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been through so much together. This world has thrown so much at us, testing our relationship and our love for one another. We’ve both experienced moments where we thought we’d lose each other forever, and never see each other again. But we fought for each other when we knew the other was deserving of much more. We’ve helped each other grow better as people. And we love each other unconditionally, in ways I never knew existed. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I will never take you for granted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand that my decisions will fully affect you and I promise to always take your consideration in hand. I promise to love you in sickness and in health. I promise to honor and respect you. I promise to be loyal to you. I promise to be honest with you. And I promise to always be on your side, and never against you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I promise to learn how to cook better, so that we never suffer food poisoning again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She allows the laughter to interrupt her flow. A sharp huff through Lexa’s nose brings the same smile to her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you so much, Lexa. From this day on you have all of me. And I’m truly so excited to go through life, being your wife. And I promise to love you for the rest of my days, for the rest of </span>
  <em>
    <span>our </span>
  </em>
  <span>lives, for as long as we both shall live.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If she were to look closely, she’d notice Lexa’s smile starting to wobble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Raven’s having trouble continuing with her usual self, sniffling back tears as she clears her throat to read through her notes, bringing out a new handkerchief from out of nowhere. After Raven brings out the candle and wraps their forearms together by a ritual binding rope, Abby and Gustus come forth to light the candle simultaneously, in a symbolic gesticulation of the unity between the two clans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Aden steps forwards and presents a velvety cushion with his head slightly bowed. Taking his duty as ring bearer very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> seriously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lexa lifts Clarke’s hand as though she’s handling a precious pearl, sliding the sparkling wedding band smoothly over her finger and nestling into its place. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>In turn, the slight tremor running through Lexa makes the process of putting on her wedding band slightly amusing for Clarke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if Aden just served royalty, he ducks away with one hand behind his back once his service was no longer necessary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Raven speaks up again, Lexa doesn’t hear a damn word. All she’s taking inventory of is the way those blue eyes pierce into hers. The way Clarke seems to radiate under new lighting. The way the everlasting glow from behind her casts a halo around her form. It’s like Lexa’s seeing her for the first time again. Her eyes glance down to her lips, the way they move silently, mouthing the words: </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It feels as though her entire being is leaving her body and her soul ascending. Lexa doesn’t realize she’s staring until Clarke’s face changes to a more awkward expression, looking almost nervous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slightly confused, her eyes flicker to the side towards Raven, in hopes of figuring out what transpired in her sudden lapse in concentration. She looks to Raven… who’s glaring holes through the back of her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lexa.” A bit tense, a bit annoyed. “Do you take Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, to be your wedded wife?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that’s when she realizes what just happened, the moment she catches Anya grimacing in the family's reserved row and ducking her head, holding her temples by the forefingers. Lexa recuperates in a rush:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do!” She squeezes Clarke’s hands apologetically and is unable to contain her excitement. “Of course I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clarke wiggles a smirk off her face while Raven rolls her eyes goodnaturedly. Raven finishes up, stretches her arms out wide and proud, ready to pronounce the ladies as officially wedded wiv—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--and then she’s effectively drowned out by the eruption and thunderous applause. Lexa’s already hauling Clarke in before Raven even gets to finish her announcement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All their family members and loved ones have shot up from their seats, reactions ranging from sobbing to whistling to yelling to cheering in a unanimous standing ovation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It feels too good to be true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This love is the surest thing she’s ever felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A tear escapes down her cheek in a single stream the second Lexa stands back with a quivering bottom lip, eyes scanning across Clarke’s features, looking astonished and in awe of what just happened; Clarke’s face transitions from utter bliss to one that’s filled with overbearing emotions that come crashing through. Her soft hands come up to cradle Lexa’s face, to admire the forest green eyes before locking their lips again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blood rushes into her ears, her lips, pinkening the skin that tingles under Clarke’s touch. Her heart’s racing with such ferocity, she could go for a marathon at this very second. But she wouldn’t have it any other way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lexa sighs after the kiss, the kiss from her </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> soft and pillowy lips, resting her forehead against hers. Taking a moment to collect herself, holding Clarke in her arms for a while longer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The commotion fades away to the background. Lexa can hear nothing but the saving beat of her heart. She can feel nothing but her body pressed against hers. The vitality courses through her veins and awakens something deep within her, stirring her alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For there is nothing left but the serenity. Alas, the tranquility at having found the true meaning of peacefulness, of having found the true meaning of love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>///</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://awquafina.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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